MILKANDCYRIL.TUMBLR.COM

fracture in my 5th metacarpal. this was a rebreak of last year when i practically dented the gym lockers in school, and placed a crack in the wall., if anyone from middle school actually reads this, then you probably remember the rage that had overcome me lol.

so now i have this thing in a splint for the next three weeks to see how it turns out. i honestly think no difference will occur and its a waste of time and they'll have to do the surgery anyway.

yeah niggaaaaaa surgery...

so now with restricted mobility of my left hand, my dominant hand, i figured that i cant:
-play handball well, LIKE SON I PRACTICALLY LOST TO DIEGO WITH MY RIGHT HAND, :'(
-play guitar, sorry PNYM
-write, for my summer thing -________-
-read, flipping pages will be such a hassle
-play drums, sorry no one because no one listens to me play the drums over the summer
-type well, i'm typing this with one hand -_______-

things seem to be getting better, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo





YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH





OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

jk

Once, you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things. At the end, you choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. My name is Cyril Jerome Ucol Bernardo.
....

2. I see my potential to do many things, however I don't realize it. You know what I'm saying?
i guess it's still the same, i haven't picked up anything new lately.

3. I like to play guitar and drums, however i know how to also play piano and alto saxophone.
i also picked up the melodica

4. I'm a size 12-13 in shoes. I like shoes.
still the same

5. I am a super procrastinator. One time I started a big report due the next day at 5am, three hours before it was due.
sadly, still the same -_-

6. tacticalshadow.blogspot.com it's been it while
HEY WHAT IS THIS BEING POSTED IN?

I'M SLOWLY SCREWING UP SHIT, WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I MISSED MY CHANCE

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

as i begin to hang out with PNYM more often, i'm realizing how people do act differently based on their setting.

not saying that that's a bad thing, it's just that it's interesting, it's like meeting a person for a second time.

i wish i was more open in the beginning, because i think i'm well overdue for really meeting these people.


"there's no time to appreciate true beauty, if you only strive for aesthetic perfection"

what the hell is my problem. i think i know whats best for everyone, but who am i? im just a 15 year old kid, whos thinks hes had more than his fair share of conflicts, controversies, and problems. i pride myself on my "individual thinking" i think im so advanced, so amazing but im not. who am i to bring someone to the edge, to pry so deep, just to try to help them. WHO AM I, WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?

this internal conflict i think is the greatest downfall to my wannabe help-line. sure i've helped other people big time, but that doesn't mean i'll have success with the next person. it doesn't mean i can guarantee success to the next person. it doesn't mean i can pry just to help the next person!

if this person is reading this, and you know who you are, im extremely sorry. i know, or at least i hope that i've said sorry in person, but im sure one apology is not enough. i've probably exposed a past already over with, and im sorry for that. ive probably brought it to your mind again, and im sorry for that. im probably going to fail you at least once, and i know i promised i wont, and im sorry for that. im sorry that eventually my best will not be enough. im sorry that i wont put you first all the time. im sorry for being such an asshole.

i promise you that you wont turn out like the others. i promise you that you can trust me with anything. i promise you that i will be avaible for whatever, whenever. i promise you that i wont be like the others. i promise you that i will try hard. i promise you that i will try harder than i have with anyone else. i promise you that i will try my hardest. i promise that i'll figure something out. i promise we'll figure something out.

i'm so sorry that i've done what i've done. but i'm here now and i can't change it.